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May 31 2017

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“Thank God you’re ok.”


don’t get it twisted like i respect bugs for being the best they can be in spite of their specific assigned flesh prisons and their ecological significance but they need to stay the fuck away from me 







fucks sake


god dammit

Okay now which one is clearer? 1?

or 2?


Maybe just take off the glasses!?

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                    Woman? Is that meant to insult me? (part 2)


*is still v excited about books but doesn’t have the motivation or concentration to read like I used to*

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May 30 2017

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“I know you miss her…”

to uk peeps





















so you guys are facing down yet another global warming summer and as an american i feel entitled to barge over and give you a lot of advice about how to live your life. also i’m used to surviving 90-110 degree summers (32—43 celsius) with no ac. so here we go. 

  • you need to drink  a lot of water. on average you should be drinking about two liters. on hot days, double that. 
  • fill plastic water bottles halfway up and stick them in your freezer. take them out once they’ve frozen and fill the rest up with water, drink the water, fill it up again, and carry it around with you until it’s time to get the next ice bottle. also you can put the icy end against your throat or over your chest for maximum refreshment.
  • consider making a lot of sun tea. get big glass jars or a pitcher. put a bunch of your preferred teabags in it with some sugar. if you want to be an american southerner, your tea should be green or black and your sugar amount should be enough to kill a child. if you want to be sane, put in as little sugar as you can get away with so it’s not dehydrating, and stick with herbal teas because the last thing you want during the heat of the day is a caffeine boost. leave your tea on a windowsill. after a few hours it’s steeped and you can put it in the fridge. tadaaa. 
  • fruit juice, soda pop, beer, and a lot of sports drinks like gatorade all dehydrate you, and in really hot weather they’re dangerous because people will drink them instead of water. drink an equal amount of water as anything with sugar. see prior point about sun tea. 
  • when you sweat you lose salt. so don’t feel bad about eating some junk food. 
  • freeze grapes. eat the grapes. repeat. 
  • get a hat with a brim. baseball caps are ok but wide brimmed hats are better because they shadow the back of your neck and that’s one less thing to have to worry about. 
  • don’t wear knit caps. just… no. 
  • you don’t get more sunburned because it’s hot, you get more sunburned because when it’s hot you wear less clothes. so don’t freak out.
  • if you don’t have AC you can put a bowl of ice behind a fan. this creates a swamp cooler, by pulling the air over the ice. also, put on a wet t-shirt and sit in front of it, and you’ll cool further by evaporation. 
  • speaking of evaporation, watch out if it’s humid. you don’t cool down from sweating as much when the air’s already saturated. drink more water, have more salt, and change your shirt a lot. 
  • heatstroke is serious shit, and kids and the elderly are prone to it. but whatever your age, if you feel nauseous, headachy, or short of breath, the heat’s getting to you. pour your water bottle over your head and go sit in the shade. keep an eye on friends and family as well. 
  • if someone stops sweating when they’re still out in the heat, that’s serious business and get them medical treatment as soon as possible. it’s a case of dehydration and/or heatstroke.  

Other things that freeze really well, a short list:

  • Orange juice! Other fruit juices too, but I tend to have best results with oj or cider. Pour some into an empty ice-cube tray, let them freeze, and the result is slightly-flaky frozen goodness. This is also an easy way to make homemade popsicles–put a sheet of aluminum foil over top of the tray and stick toothpick/popsicle sticks in so the juice freezes around them.
  • Grapes were mentioned. Grapes are TRUE.
  • NOT SODAS. Do not freeze sodas! They explode.
  • Strawberries! These can be hard to find cheap, especially outside of strawberry season, and I don’t know about their availability outside of my part of the US, but if you can get them they’re great frozen in your water. Freeze-dry strawberries by laying them out on a tray or sth in the freezer, and then when they’re frozen just put them in a bag to conserve space.

Other general tips:

  • Fruit in water is amazing when you’re someone like me who doesn’t like water’s lack of taste. Strawberries and mint leaves are fairly traditional, but basically anything you like will work. there are lots of combos online.
  • If you have a blender or a food processor, smoothies are a good way to eat something when you’re too hot to function. Fruit+ice+milk+yogurt is pretty traditional.
  • Have sunscreen. Make sure you don’t have any skin reactions to the sunscreen. If your sunscreen has fragrance, make sure you can deal with the fragrance when it’s constantly on your face in heat.
  • Speaking off: sunscreen is not just for arms/shoulders. Put sunscreen on your face, especially nose/cheekbones/forehead. Put sunscreen on the tops of your ears! If your hair has a tight part, try to put sunscreen there if you don’t wear a hat (scalp burns are PAINFUL). Put sunscreen on your legs, especially the backs of your calves. Put sunscreen on any visible parts of your feet.
  • Wear loose clothing if you can, especially if you’re wearing long sleeves. Any constrictions on your breathing feel much worse in the heat.

If you need to cool down quick, run cold water over your wrists (or put ice cubes on them maybe?). This is a trick they taught us in gymnastics class but it works just as well on hot days.

When you start getting that feeling like you’ve adapted to the heat, like it’s not bad, like you could just stay where you are for hours and hours, even get a blanket, and maybe you feel like you’re zoning out a little, it’s time to reconsider, move around, have something cool to drink.

And it can be hard to remember to eat when it’s so hot, for some reason. Cold food in small portions is generally easiest to manage. But remember to eat food with a lot of salt, a lot of potassium, a lot of vitamins. I can’t believe bananas aren’t on this post. My god, get your potassium, you’ll feel SO much better. If you’re eating something salty and it tastes unusually, amazingly good, it’s because you’re running low on salt, so keep eating it.

and seriously yeah keep an eye on people like kids and the elderly and anyone who’s under your care. ask them how they’re feeling if they’re able to tell you, and if not, try to see if they’re looking unusually unfocused, breathing too hard, haven’t had anything to drink in a while, etc.

If you bind, be even more careful about how long you bind and pay even more attention to your binder’s effects on your body.

sometimes there’s nothing else for it but to just fill a bathtub with cool water and get in. Seriously, it can be so helpful. Also, showers. Showers are good.

also take care of your dogs I don’t know anything about dogs but be careful for them! maybe look up some tips.

also could anyone who even thinks about reblogging this from me to make fun of brits, pls stop?? when it gets hot here it’s kind of awful bc A/C is rare and they’re really not used to this kind of heat. if you add any sort of teasing if u reblog this for me i will find u and push you

Seriously, air conditioning is basically not a think here. And most of our houses are designed to trap heat. Our old people’s homes are not air conditioned. Our hospitals are not air conditioned. When we have unusual heat waves people die.

If you find yourself shaking, feeling dizzy, or feeling cold in the middle of a heat wave, sit yourself down in the shade and sip water (don’t chug, you’ll make yourself throw up) until you feel normal again. These are some of the first warning signs of heat exhaustion and ignoring them is dumb.
If you’re at a sports practice or being otherwise active in the heat and you recognize these or other symptoms of heat exhaustion/heat stroke, don’t let yourself be pressured into playing through it. Listen to your body and take care of it.

I have so many British buddies, you guys, pay serious attention to the tips up above. For those who don’t know, I live in Australia, one of the driest and hottest places on earth, and we get those same temperatures that the first poster quoted, hotter in the centre of Australia. I didn’t know half of those tips, and I’ll likely utilise them next summer myself.

Please, take care in the heat, I’ll make sure to reblog this later on when it gets closer to you guys’ summer, but please, take this seriously. Even with us being used to the heat the way we are, we still have fatalities because people do not properly look after themselves.

also, since everyone always forgets – if you’re wearing sandals or flipflops, PUT SUNSCREEN ON YOUR TOES. Those little piggies are not used to being grilled, and sunburnt feet isn’t fun. Actually, suncreen everywhere (nape of neck, all over your ears, right down to your figures. Put your sunscreen on before getting dressed, and let it soak in, so you don’t get burn lines along the hems, and re-apply FREQUENTLY. In fact, if you don’t regularly use sunscreen, read this helpful FAQ

As someone with skin cancer, let me tell you, DON’T LET YOURSELF GET BURNED!


another point to cool off is behind the ears, press an ice cube there when your head feels hot

lie down on the floor to refresh, if your house is all wooden floors and carpets, the floors won’t be fresh but where there are tiles (like the bathroom) would work

and yo, if u have towels, u should soak ‘em in cold water or a tub of ice if one is accessible, and just wear it around your neck

also, the sunscreen thing is rly important
even if you don’t think you need it, you can still get sunburnt and have ur skin peeling, and that’s no fun.

If you have access to multiple floors, it can be a good idea to set up an air mattress or even just pile up some blankets on the floor and to sleep on the lowest floor you can. Heat rises, and even with a/c we used to sleep on the ground floor when we were in an old farmhouse. It’s also not a bad idea to wear loose, light colored clothing that’s a little more covering, since this helps keep the sun off of you and makes it easier for sweat to evaporate, which both help keep you cool. Idk if anyone’s mentioned this, but you can tie up loose hair in a bun or braid to keep it from sticking to your neck. It’s a small but quick thing that can make you feel a bit better, just make sure to keep the back of your neck in the shade and sunscreen.

If you plan on lying on your stomach in the sun SUNSCREEN THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR FEET. Really sunscreen every 1-2 hours and make sure you apply at least 15 min before going outside.

I like sticking my top sheet and pillowcase in the freezer about 30 min or more before going to bed. And cold wet hair is a blessing for a while if you have longer hair

About clothing: If you can wear loose clothes made of 100% cotton or linen, wear them! A lot of synthetic fibers (I’m looking at you, polyester) will stick to your skin like plastic wrap.

Also, FROZEN BANANAS. Frozen bananas are excellent. And having something salty to snack on, because it will make you thirsty and remind you to drink water, as well as replacing any salt you lose by sweating. Just keep a bag of chips (er, American-style chips, I mean) or pretzels handy and munch on them.

I get super dizzy in the heat- not related to dehydration or heat stroke or dangerous things, it’s just a thing with my body. If you’ve figured out that you do the same (and aren’t suffering heat stroke) it can be a pain. Best thing I’ve found to counter that is rest my head between my knees or on a table or whatever, face down, and put something frozen on the back of my neck. A frozen towel or ice pack or whatever. Like all the other cool down points people mention are good but I’ve found that to be the best one to counteract dizziness is the back of the neck at the base of the skull. 

Reblogging because this information is helpful for everyone around the world.  I’m heat-sensitive so I’ll be trying some of these this summer myself.

Also, when you’re hydrating — you ARE hydrating, right? Per the above recommendations? — don’t chug down an entire liter of water at once. Your body can only absorb so much so fast, no matter how thirsty you are, and you’ll just pee out the extra. Drink slowly and throughout the day. 

Put a little fruitjuice in your water, not just because it tastes better, but because when your body thinks that you’re eating food, it absorbs the water better. I use a slice of lemon, it does the trick.

I’m adding my points because I’m a lifeguard– if you get heat exhaustion or if you’re dizzy from the heat, do NOT put anything icy on the back of your neck. It is very close to your spinal cord and putting something so significantly different in temperature that close to it can cause you to go into shock, which can kill you. If you suspect you or someone else has heat exhaustion, or god forbid heat stroke (which also can kill you) move to a shady place, lie down flat, have someone fan you or fan yourself, drink sips of water slowly, and consider moving indoors to a cooler place only when you feel your dizziness has abated.

also, wearing loose, light colored clothing is better for the heat than wearing less clothing. You might feel your sweat more, but tat just means you’re alive. If you ever stop sweating in a situation that you should be, you need to take the steps above; you don’t really need to chug water but you should drink it before you’re thirsty. Also, wear hats and sunglasses– UVA and UVB light can damage your retinas as well as your skin. ALSO, if you are going to be in a pool for an extended amount of time, the pool water WILL DEHYDRATE YOU. I have had so many people pass out on me because they thought they were fine because they were at a waterpark all day and didn’t have anything to drink at all, and they were in chlorine water. 

If you need to cool down, put cool, wet cloth on your neck, under your arms, and up in your groin. These places have a lot of blood vessels that will let you cool down.

And if you stop sweating, CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY LINE. That is a sign that your body is overwhelmed and is shutting down.

from living in texas and being pakistani i have some. unorthodox suggestions. 

if you sweat you lose salt so drink some salty beverage like maybe namak chai (or kashmiri pink chai), Shikanjvi, lassi, or Ayran. also its not bad to drink hot beverages contrary to how it might seem. same with eating lots of spicy food. you also need more electrolytes, so like avocado or whtever 

also friendly texan reminder that sugar doesnt dissolve in ice tea so if you want to make sweet tea brew it hot, stirr in the sugar, then cool it down. its simple thermodynamics that yanks dont seem to get, 


I wonder how many strangers hate me bc of how someone else described me to them

May 16 2017

Eurovision 2K17: Graham Norton's Best Bits


“It’s a grey, damp night outside so there’s a faint smell of wet dog in the arena.”

“So, the theme this year is celebrating diversity, so let’s see who they’ve got to host… Oh, it’s three white men. Well done.”

“I can’t mock the jacket because… I’ve worn worse.”

“Timur is a personality powerhouse.”

“They’re excellent at speaking at the same time, they’ve cracked that.”

“Her brother will be fiddling with her on stage tonight.”

“Nathan Trent is actually his stage name. His real name is… Very difficult.”

“If you think my job’s hard, check out the guy pretending to play the saxophone for three minutes.”

“I should tell you, the Union Jack just fell off the wall in the commentary room. Hope it’s not an omen.”

“Nothing’s gone wrong. This was planned.”

“By the way, don’t worry, he hasn’t bought his mother’s ashes onstage with him. It’s actually a mini milk churn, which- who knew- could double as a musical instrument. Well, I say musical.”

“By the way, there hasn’t been a stage invasion. The woman is a professionally trained dancer. She is meant to be there.”

“The dancer trying to hide there. Who can blame her?”

“Inside that gorilla is Italy’s leading choreographer.”

“If you’re going to dress someone as a gorilla, at least get a decent costume. It looks like two carseat covers sewn together.”

“She was born and raised there (Australia). Moved to Denmark… Suspiciously recently.”

“There is so much love in this room.”
“Not for you, Alex.”


“And you keep thinking, ‘oh, this will make sense in a moment’ and… No…”

“She very kindly gave us some promotional chalk. I’ll be taking that home.”

“Ironically, for a man singing a song called ‘My Friend’, he doesn’t seem to have any.”

“Song 14 is Australia. Let’s not get into it.”

“My only piece of advice would be don’t start looking at his eyebrows unless you don’t want to stop”

“Does he advertise car insurance?”

“It’s got lots of things euro fans will enjoy: a beautiful woman, a stonking disco beat, and two half-naked men splashing around in a paddling pool.”

“Ooo. Some dodgy notes in there. I wonder if something’s gone wrong technically… Or maybe he’s just not great.”

“He wasn’t supposed to be singing but he stepped into the breach when the original singer… Came to his senses.”

“Comedy alert, ladies and gentleman.”

“Now… If I say this song is rap meets yodelling…”

“She claims to be the only yodeller in Romania. Probably because the others don’t talk about it. It’s the first rule of Yodel Club.”

“She splits her time between Berlin and London, so if you think you know her, you’ve probably seen her waiting for a bus or something.”

“Eurovision fans know it’s a long wait for the competition.” “A year. It’s a year, Timur.”

“The next thing you’ll ask is… How can three minutes be this long?”

“I just hope she enjoys it (performing) a bit more than she appears to.”

“This boy is a boy.”

“He’s literally just turned 17. He was born in this century.”

“We’ve done it, ladies and gentleman. This is song 26.”

“Terrific graphics, though. Mind you, if we’re looking at the graphics, something’s gone terribly wrong, hasn’t it.”

“Verka and her mother. I think it’s the same mother she had in 2008, we can’t be sure.”

“She (Verka) has already started drinking tonight.”
“Oh, I can believe that.”

“If zombies did aerobics, it’d look a bit like this.”

“Two hundred million people… Are watching this.”

“This is quite torturous. A very long minute.”

*gasp* “I smell charisma.”

“I shared a urinal with John Ola Sand earlier. I didn’t talk to him…. Thought best not to.”

“Look at us, on the left hand side of the scoreboard.”

“Do you think she gave the other half of her jacket to the man from Croatia?”

“This is like an international version of First Dates.”

“They’re like the muppets with accents.”

you've been hit by, you've been struck by


the fear that you’re unlovable and you’ll die alone

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The ancient Greeks believed that swans only sang once: at the point of their death one beautiful last lament.” ―House/Hugh Laurie about Swan Song.

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“I got the word that I booked Beckett on May 4, 2008. That was the beginning of what ended up being a life-changing experience. I am so fortunate to have played this character & to work with everyone involved in this project. My colleagues & this character enriched my life.”

May 15 2017

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Life is a journey and there’s no predicting the outcome. The only thing you can control are your choices and they’ll define who you are.
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I can’t stop staring. It’s mesmerizing.

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She really tried.

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The lecturing Amy was talking about: 10x23 & 10x24

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